“Normal.” January can be a tough month of recovery as we recalibrate back to normal life. I love the holidays yet they inevitably take their toll on our routines of self care and wellness. These changes add up and should be thoughtfully addressed. In addition to post-holiday fatigue these uncertain times maintain their own complexities resulting in a very challenging month for many of us.
Post-holiday I felt tired and worn down. The flare led to decreased commitments, canceled plans and stepping back. Initially the process felt frustrating. It’s a reminder of years ago when I was in constant survival mode. Old feelings of “not enough” and guilt crept in.
Hashimoto’s thyroiditis took away my sense of normal fatigue. It’s important to remind myself how far I have come and maintain that perspective. I moved beyond the initial mindset of frustration and resentment. I took time to reflect on the past six weeks and the energy my body and brain required to balance it all. I focused on being present with my family. I focused my energy on physical activities that would have been an incredible struggle when I was sick. I shared new foods with friends and my digestion held strong! This I celebrate.
Currently, my body is taking advantage of a lower vibration and slowing down. Instead of feeling intense guilt for saying no I pause and breathe. I acknowledge these emotions and focus on their origin. Where does this all stem from? What am I trying to control? This is where the real work lies.
The autoimmune journey is hard. At times it can be so dark and the trauma stays ingrained in the body. When triggered we experience post-traumatic stress and revert to old patterns and habits. My biggest triggers are guilt and being seen. At times avoiding them takes precedence over my body’s needs. This lesson continues to help me learn and grow.
For years Hashimoto’s depleted me. And in an ironic sense it is giving back. It’s given the gifts of self-respect, insight and truth. Still, the process isn’t always easy. It can be frustrating to slow down and relinquish control. But now I am in a space to catch myself and pivot versus a tailspin of ego and self-judgment.
How are you feeling this month? Are you struggling to regain balance or thriving in the return to routine? Wherever you are just remember to pause. Stop and reflect on all the ways your body is showing up for you. If you are struggling then what can you alter? Take a moment to journal these thoughts so you can access them in the future. Respect your body. What is it asking for? Be still long enough to hear what it is telling you.
It’s a journey…